Is it Greener on the Other Side?
On this side is the unsatisfactory present. On the other side is the promise of a better future. If only, we say to ourselves, we could make that leap across the great chasm of fear and time and capability to greener pastures.
Framed this way, we will inevitably hear the nagging voice of the troll underneath the bridge:
What if it isn’t what I imagine it be?
What if it won’t make me happy?
What if I can’t do it?
That voice is sneaky... because “it” will never be what you imagine it to be, and “it” will not be what makes you happy, and if “it” is worthwhile, you will surely be unequipped to do it. By focusing only on the next job, the next business, the next relationship, there is little chance of fulfillment.
The point is not whether you get there. The point is who you become by attempting to get there.
Imagine I was expressing to you my desire to give hiking a try. I say to you that I should like my first hike to have the most incredible and spectacular view that I will ever see. So you suggest your favourite hike with the best view, and I promptly have my helicopter drop me off at the viewpoint. I take a few pictures and return delighted to have “hiked”.
Surely, you object, that was not a true experience of hiking!
A spectacular hike is not just a view or a destination. It is also the experience of preparing for the trip, conversing with companions, connecting with the natural world, and in the end becoming a better person... so that you can do the next big and better hike.
Likewise, a spectacular life is not just a goal or an outcome. It is the capability you develop to live an even bigger and more spectacular life.
Hence you can wonder endlessly whether leaving a job or relationship will be better or worse, but you can be certain that you will grow from the experience. Who is the more “secure” person? The person who has stayed with a job no matter what, or the person who has quit his or her job multiple times and recovered each time to find the right job? All things equal, one person knows how to adapt to change whereas the other does not.
If I may stretch this metaphor, engage with life as you would engage with hikes. Do your research, be prepared for it, let go of expectations, experience it fully, commit to becoming a better hiker, and in the end, the grass will always be greener on the other side.
Chris Hsiung BSc. ACC
HUMAN Venture Coaching
Chris Hsiung graduated with distinction from the University of Calgary in Electrical Engineering. He is an internationally certified professional coach through the Coaches Training Institute (CTI). He is learning, teaching, presenting curriculum through Leadership Calgary. Currently he runs a practice (Human Venture Coaching) guiding and coaching professionals who are choosing to engage in pioneering life challenges
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Lost Coyote
Photo taken by Chris in Banff
