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Greetings!
The
New Year welcomes you to learn from the past, to listen to the present,
and to envision your best future. After every holiday (for those that
could take it) is an opportunity to renew our spirits and feed our most
creative selves.
Today's issue will continue on from last year with the following topics:
- U Venture: How DEEP is your creative space? (Part 2)
- Chris's Corner: Risking Relationships
May you have many curious, fascinating, challenging, and properous opportunities.
Yours truly,
Chris
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U Venture : How DEEP is your Creative Space? (Part 2)
There
are many fleeting moments of fulfillment... an intimate connection with
another human being, a beautifully played soccer game, a breathtaking
view at the end of a hike. Creating something, however, is a kind of fulfillment that lasts many moments more. Sometimes it lasts just long enough to be eaten and other times it lasts well past future generations.
Part
1 was about opening up a play space for your imagination. Part 2 is
about the often neglected part of creativity... deepening your creative
space. Interestingly enough, the process of replacing my toilet has
provided me with some startling insights.
Before you recoil in
horror at the thought of toilets, many a great ideas have been had on
the seat of inspiration! There is more to this story though. If you
indulge me, it is every bit relevant to deepening your creative space.
Read on to delve deep into the toilet hole...
Read Part 1 first on "How BIG is your Creative Space?"
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Chris's Corner: Risking Relationships
I
have been told that my job as a coach is that of a "trusted naysayer".
True enough. Part of the coaching relationship is the permission
for coach and client to speak (respectfully still) the hard and real
truth. After all, we have power only over the thoughts and feelings
that we can lay down openly on the table.
This had me
wondering why we don't have more of the "trusted naysayer" role in our
relationships? Why don't we seek out real feedback from our peers? If
we want our friends to be the best that they can be, why don't we
question our friends? Challenge them even?
By "we", I actually mean to speak only for "me". I certainly know why I rarely question my friends:
- I don't want to hurt the other person.
- I don't want to anger the other person (and face conflict... ugh).
- I don't want to risk the status quo of the relationship (and make it worse... or better).
And if I was on the receiving side of brutal truths:
- I wouldn't believe it (and they are being unreasonable anyway).
- I wouldn't admit my failings as a person.
- I'd rather be accepted for who I am (and therefore not have to change).
I,
as much as others, want relationships that are positive and supportive.
But what is a relationship that doesn't have room for the negative and
the risks as well? One doomed for stagnation I presume.
What
if we encouraged our peers to live up to higher ideals? What if we
could say the thing that can't be said? The relationship may break, but
if both parties are determined, then it can become stronger. I think we
more often need to exercise our misunderstanding muscles than our
understanding ones!
The challenge is in that moment of not
understanding. Anger, sadness, disappointment, and all manner of
emotions conspire to create false assumptions and interpretations. If
one could find a safe passage through those feelings to understanding,
wouldn't the relationship be more resilient to future challenges?
Emerson in his essay on friendship wrote, "I
do not wish to treat friendships daintily, but with roughest courage.
When they are real, they are not glass threads or frostwork, but the
solidest thing we know."
I say give permission for trusted naysaying in your most important relationships. They deserve it.
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Five Dangerous Things you SHOULD Let Your Kids Do
1. Play with Fire
Learning to control fire is a pivotal moment in every human's existence.
2. Own a Pocket Knife It's like the first universal tool you own. It's a screwdriver, prybar, and a knife too.
3. Throw a Spear
Our brain is wired for throwing things. It trains both physical and analytical skills.
4. Deconstruct Appliances
Puzzling out how things work is good practice for developing a sense that things are knowable through investigation.
5. Drive a Car
It's an empowering act for a young child. (Make sure you're still in the driver's seat).
...excerpt from talk by Gever Tulley, founder of Tinkering School
See Gever's talk at the TED Conference
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